Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Short Posting Today, which I Try to Cover Up with a Contest

So action is picking up on the new poll. So far "Chippendale" is the leading new feature that readers would like to see. I guess my question for you who answered it that way is whether you envision them wearing their bowties and g-strings while caddying you or something else.

And are they allowed shoes?

And do they have to serve you the cake, mouthful by mouthful at the end? (And Barely Legal, don't get started on that "they'll chew the food for you" thing. It's just gross.)

So here's the contest: either in comments or by email (which I will put in the comments), tell me how you'd dress your caddy. The answer that entertains me most will get a box of Fat Witch brownies delivered to your door, but only if I get some good answers, people.

So there you go. Have at it.

(And for those Chippendale's fans among you, here's a Chippendale's Dance Off, which I'm sure you'll enjoy, although there's a short commercial at the beginning.)


Anonymous said...

Caddy Outfit per C. Montgomery Burns

See my vest, see my vest,
Made from real gorilla chest.
Feel this sweater, there's no better
Than authentic Irish Setter.
See this hat, 'twas my cat.
My evening wear, vampire bat.
These white slippers are albino
African endangered rhino.
Grizzly bear underwear,
Turtle necks I've got my share.
Beret of poodle on my noodle it shall rest
Try my red robin suit,
It comes one breast or two...
See my vest, See my vest, See my vest.
Like my loafers, former gophers,
It was that or skin my chauffeurs,
But a greyhound fur tuxedo would be best...
So let's prepare these dogs,
Kill two for matching clogs!
See my vest!
See me vest!
Oh, please, won't you see my veeeeeesst!

Tommy Mac said...

Sung to the tune of "Be Our Guest"??? That is the rhythm that I gathered..

Marni said...

I hereby announce my entry into the contest:

There is only one way to dress a caddy. And his name must be Marni’s Hunk o’ Burnin’ Love. He must wear only shiny black and white golf shoes, a sparkly red bow tie, and Mickey Mouse ears on his head. I’d like him to be carrying a box of Charles Chocolates at all times, and whenever the need arises (which is often), he feeds me a piece. MOST IMPORTANTLY, on his cheeks (all four of them), he’ll have Oakland A’s temporary tattoos.

Jim, I will email you a 5-minute sketch of this hunk, er, caddy.