Even Copper Can't Fix Sucking, but Let's Give it a Try...

Yesterday, I was taking a mid-afternoon walk during work to get some air, and I stumbled into the golf shop that's a couple blocks from the office. (Yeah, right, and Homer takes a walk and just stumbles into Moe's Tavern.) Anyway, there I was taking a walk and what should catch my eye but a sign saying 20% off all iron sets.

After a few minutes of pointless wandering, something unusual caught my eye. A set of these. My first thought of course was, "oooh, shiny." How often in life are the words "oooh, shiny" the first step on the path to buying something? Often enough that someone should open a store called "ooh, shiny" and give people a five dollar coupon if they're willing to say it. Even if they don't buy, you get to crack up at people saying 'ooh, shiny' all day. (That reminds me of the things McDonald's did ages ago with the 'two all beef patties..." slogan. You better believe I tried to win a burger. Had to settle for the Big Mac sticker though.)

The proprietor of the place told me that these clubs were the last of an ancient line and that legend has it, that they were first handed to Nick Faldo by the Lady of the Water Hazard, and that by receiving the Golden (ok, copper) Clubs of Destiny, he would be, uh, destined to golf immortality and also a pretty nice job endorsing products and golf schools for Marriott.

Of course, I'm no fool, so I looked online, where everything is true. (Wait, you read that last paragraph online, therefore making it true. Dang! I wasted my time verifying it!)

Seriously, though, the story is that the Beryllium Copper Ping 2 clubs are some of the most storied clubs in the history of golf and despite being of an 80s and early 90s vintage, have actually appreciated in value. If you don't believe me, ask Ebay.

So my logic was this: I had really like test swinging these clubs, they were 20% off, had a history of appreciating in value, and my starter set has begun hinting a little too frequently how it would like to "maybe just get a little piece of land somewhere and raise some cows and pigs and get out of the rat race." (Yeah, right, straight to the garage, you'll go, starter clubs.) Plus, they were shiny copper metal. How could I argue with that?

Naturally, I bought them. Worst case scenario, I put on a Bozo wig and a Ricky Ricardo mustache and go back in there and trade them in. Best case scenario, I beat Tiger Woods in the one on one match for the world championship that he and I have coming up.

So this morning, I had to visit the driving range to test them out. Donning my Mr. Rogers-like golf sweater (to avoid bespoiling the shirt I'll be wearing all day), out I went. For visual reference, here is in the sweater:














And the clubs? They hit well. That is, they didn't hit any better or worse than usual, though I liked them. The real test of them will be the next time we hit the course and whether they can magically overcome my lack of experience in the game of golf. I've heard copper has magical healing powers, after all. And hey, if it's good enough for the New Age Time4me Club at time4me.com, it's good enough for me.