Name That Hole

Not to be confused with namethathole.com, which is an entirely different kind of site if you know what I mean, this post is in response to my good friend, former work colleague and devoted 'GITNC' fan, Phil, who I will refer to as The Joker. Don't worry. He wasn't horribly disfigured in a chemical spill or anything. He just likes a good joke, and everybody on this blog deserves a SuperHero-y name, I feel. (Also, I invite you to amuse yourself with a battle between Batman and the Joker in the worst stop-motion animation ever completed by anyone not trying to be ironic.)

Anyway, the Joker read the post about my catastrophic play on Hole 5 the other day, and the whole riff about naming the fifth hole at the Altadena Golf Course. Frankly, he was disappointed. To quote him:

"Sure 'Suck Zone' does the job, but it leaves me wanting more."

Well, I can't rename Suck Zone, because a Suck Zone by any other name would suck just as completely.

But I can spend some time generating other potential hole names. First, though, I think it's important for us all to get a sense of some existing hole names. Ok, so in Purgatory (which you won't at all be shocked to find out is in Indiana), here are a few of the hole names:

-Pride (ehh)

-Stains of the Inferno (Somebody should have laid off that last Hobbit movie. And stains? Seriously.)

-Impenetrable Fortress (maybe this is like that Iceland/Greenland thing, and this is actually the easiest hole on the course)

-Sweet Misery (Ok, that sounds like it DOES belong on namethathole.com)(BTW, don't go to namethathole.com; you're bound to be disappointed)

Ok, these are boring me. Let's go to Scotland, where they have less to do and therefore more time and energy to devote to naming holes:

-Dyke (Cue Butthead chuckling.)

-Hole O' Cross (Cool sounding, kinda mysterious. I like it.)

-Long

-High

-Heathery (My best friend in high school dated her, I think)

Ok, these are better, but not as imaginative as they could be. Here are a few of my suggestions:

-C&C Cursing Factory. (Everybody golf now.)

-Jack Tripper's Revenge.

-Forest of Syringes (world's first syringe hazard...maybe they could build this hole right along the beach in New Jersey.)

-Moderate Difficulty. (I'm not crazy about that one.)

-The 8th hole, presented by Tostitos. (A couple years later, they'd just rename it the Tostitos Hole, of course.)

-Fight the Bear. (For obvious reasons.)

-The Belly of Elvis

-Cracker Barrel Location #189 (like they need any more.)

-Jacob's Cabin. (Sorry if you're a non-Lostie. You've got to admit, this sounds cool.)

-Delusions-of-Grandeurland

and finally

-Shark Sandwich.

Ok, those are my ideas. I welcome yours in the comments!