Arroyo Seco Wrap Up: Par 3, the Putt-Putt of People Who are Scared of Clowns

If this kind of image haunts your thoughts when you close your eyes:













But you still like the idea of an easy way to play a little golf, Par 3 courses are really for you.

Ok, let me back up a bit. A Par 3 course is one where a 'good' golfer is supposed to get the ball in the hole in 3 strokes on every hole ('Phone call for Jim from the Department of Self-Explanatory'-Experienced Golfer). The holes are short enough that Grimace could wind sprint from tee to green without a break. Possibly even Dom Deluise.

My favorite par 3 of all is the Arroyo Seco Par 3 in South Pasadena. Most par 3 courses are about the size of an open suitcase and about as interesting. Usually, they are crammed into some residential neighborhood as tight as a tent when you're folding it up and putting it back in the bag it came in. (Seriously, couldn't they just make that bag a little bigger?) So as you concentrate on how to play your tee shot on hole 6, you're within 12 feet of a little girl in her backyard trying to feed butterscotch pudding to her Webkin.

Not at Arroyo Seco though. Nicely secluded in a beautiful natural setting, it feels like a real golf course, but a lot smaller.

And let me say this to anyone interested in starting golf: there is no way you can make a fool of yourself on a course like this. First, lots of people on a par 3 are really, really bad. I mean like Ace of Bass bad. Sucking as they do, they won't mind or even probably notice when you shank a ball three holes over at them in the direction of their left temple.

So here's my invitation: anybody wanting to get a start at golf with absolutely no golf experience, no experience in any athletic pursuit, and the occasional tendency to fall down flights of stairs in an uncoordinated heap, just let me know. I'll go to Arroyo Seco with you.

Now and then, after you've graduated from Par 3s, it's not a bad idea to go to a Par 3 and work on your 'short game.' That's exactly what Human Torch and I did last night...

Here's Human Torch looking better than he did last week in the picture I took:














Note that for once, he is wearing proper golf attire. Ironically, most people on Par 3s dress for yard work. It's that elegant. Anyway.

As you might have seen, I parred the first hole. That's the good news. I pretty much bogeyed out the rest of the day and ended with 38 strokes on 9 holes. Human Torch, despite an early streak of 3 pars in a row, starting leaking raspberry filling on the sixth hole and finished with a 40.

Other bright spots for me were that I 2 putted on seven holes, 1 putted on another and 3 putted only once. Naturally, that's the one putt Human Torch put on camera:



So that's the way it was.

Oh yeah and now just 1 day to Faldo!