tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55361233436274185282024-03-12T15:34:19.382-07:00Golf is the New Chili'sNot a golfing blog. Not a blog about me. A blog about me, golfing.Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-54556185248372319872008-06-30T21:57:00.000-07:002008-06-30T22:06:06.902-07:00A Graceful Conclusion to GITNCFirst, business...I declare both Marni and Deborah winners of the horrifying "Dress Your Caddy" Contest. Fat Witches will be on their way as soon as I get the horrible, haunting vision of Marni's entry out of my mind's eye.<br /><br />Second, I realized the other day that WRITING about playing golf was actually eating into my time playing golf, in that mornings and afternoons are times when I can often practice, but instead I've been using them to write this crazy stream of stuff.<br /><br />And for that reason, we're drawing the curtain on Golf is the New Chili's. Although I still believe that it is the new Chili's, I think we've reached the point where it can go on without me...<br /><br />I will occasionally post video, pictures, etc. if the mood strikes me. You never know.<br /><br />So unlike most blogs, which just fade out like the end of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxNKyB8f_p0"><span style="font-style: italic;">Hey Jude</span></a>, I'm going to bring it to a dignified end, like <a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XR4YH1N04pc">My Sharona</a>.<br /><br />My, my, my, my, my<br /><br />Whoo!Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-89548007484265363012008-06-27T14:34:00.001-07:002008-06-27T14:34:29.574-07:00Down to the wire...<!-- Converted from text/plain format --> <P><FONT SIZE=2>The 'dress your caddy' contest is coming down to the wire, and it seems that the 'chippendale's' theme is pretty much the dominant idea.<BR> <BR> And I'm in the perplexing situation of possibly awarding two prizes...are they both brownie-worthy?<BR> <BR> And yes, there will be golf on sunday, location tbd. Let's see if HT can keep it under 100 again!</FONT> </P> Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-28537400498789824292008-06-26T08:45:00.000-07:002008-06-26T08:53:17.032-07:00Barely Caddy-I Don't Even Know What to Say...Ok, so the "Dress Your Caddy" Contest rocks on, and we've had an entry from Chai Chai Rodrigweeze, which was good, and one from <a href="http://golfisthenewchilis.blogspot.com/2008/05/cake-eagle-has-landed.html">Barely Legal</a>. (Also sometimes known as Deborah.)<br /><br />Which I will share with you now. Brace yourself. Possibly NSFW. Possibly NSFDC (Not Safe for Drinking Coffee, because you might blow some out of your nose or mouth.<br /><br />With no further ado, Barely Caddy:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SGO6JHLqteI/AAAAAAAAAGQ/d9zgxGwvP9Q/s1600-h/barelycaddy.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SGO6JHLqteI/AAAAAAAAAGQ/d9zgxGwvP9Q/s320/barelycaddy.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5216217459134739938" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I want to point out that not only is he forced to wear a giant sundae like a sandwich board in front of him AND make your golf bag levitate, he also has ice cream on his head.<br /><br />Ice cream on his head. I'm still trying to figure out what the deep, dark (or not so dark) Freudian meaning of that is. It could be an inner desire for ice cream.<br /><br />On the plus side for him, he does get to wear pants, so the degradation that comes from having ice cream on his head is offset a little by the pants.<br /><br />Then again, I could be wrong. Maybe he's happy with his station in life: caddy (and ice cream serving receptacle) by day; stripper by night. How does he have time to finish that degree in astrophysics?<br /><br />Anyway, I just want to say that this entry is going to be difficult to beat. Yet I said I'd keep the contest open til Friday, and keep it open I will.<br /><br />If anyone can beat Barely Caddy, I might have to award two prizes...Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-77074857801943122972008-06-24T08:13:00.000-07:002008-06-24T08:29:15.858-07:00Short Posting Today, which I Try to Cover Up with a ContestSo action is picking up on the new poll. So far "Chippendale" is the leading new feature that readers would like to see. I guess my question for you who answered it that way is whether you envision them wearing their bowties and g-strings while caddying you or something else.<br /><br />And are they allowed shoes?<br /><br />And do they have to serve you the cake, mouthful by mouthful at the end? (And Barely Legal, don't get started on that "they'll chew the food for you" thing. It's just gross.)<br /><br />So here's the contest: either in comments or by email (which I will put in the comments), tell me how you'd dress your caddy. The answer that entertains me most will get a box of <a href="http://www.fatwitch.com/">Fat Witch brownies</a> delivered to your door, but only if I get some good answers, people.<br /><br />So there you go. Have at it.<br /><br />(And for those Chippendale's fans among you, here's a <a href="http://video.aol.com/video-detail/chippendales-dance-off-snl/2148887641?icid=acvsv3">Chippendale's Dance Off</a>, which I'm sure you'll enjoy, although there's a short commercial at the beginning.)Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-92067295087831337412008-06-23T07:53:00.000-07:002008-06-23T11:59:24.222-07:00The Human Torch is, um, on Fire!If you're not familiar with the geography of the Pasadena area, it's at the edge of a valley and about 20 miles in from the coast. This occasionally produces a weather phenomenon known as getting hotter than five blue hells.<br /><br />To be fair, yesterday was more of a 'four blue hells' kind of day, with the temps barely cracking 105. Every few years, we get a flare up that goes even a little higher than that, and let me tell you, <a href="http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Meadows/7465/doughboy.jpg">Poppin' Fresh</a> stays out of town for fear of crisping.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SF-7XSJCSAI/AAAAAAAAAGA/QmPckL1FIJA/s1600-h/RoseBowl.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SF-7XSJCSAI/AAAAAAAAAGA/QmPckL1FIJA/s320/RoseBowl.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5215092902199445506" border="0" /></a>You know what else was hot yesterday? Human Torch. We played the truly beautiful <a href="http://www.brookside.americangolf.com/">Brookside Golf Course</a> in the even more beautiful Rose Bowl.<br /><br />Why don't we pause a moment and orient ourselves to the setting? Yes, I think we should. There's the stadium in the foreground, and all the green space behind it. If you look, there's a channel running through the valley, and the golf courses are all around it. If you look even closer, you'll see me at the edge of the channel, fishing my ball out and waving at the camera.<br /><br />Anyway, Human Torch, responding to the heat the way a Radiation-themed Superhero would respond to a giant radioactive meteor or the way an undersea, Aqua-Man like Superhero would react to being through in the ocean, had a great game.<br /><br />You'll recall that he and I typically go toe-to-toe and shoot within a shot or two of each other. Not so much yesterday. He shot an 18 hole 99, which is 22 strokes less than he shot at Shadow Ridge (and a few strokes better than me.) He was just consistent all day...few if any flubs, good targeting, even decent putting. In celebration of this tremendous achievement, the following <a href="http://www.tigerbeatmag.com/celebs/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Tiger Beat</span></a>-y salute to Human Torch:<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 255);font-family:georgia;" ><span style="font-size:180%;">Human <span style="color: rgb(255, 204, 204);">Torch</span> <span style="color: rgb(153, 255, 153);">is</span> <span style="color: rgb(102, 255, 255);">Dreamy!</span></span></span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SF-9_BPBo7I/AAAAAAAAAGI/xeTuOMvxT1w/s1600-h/Altadena+June+13+006.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SF-9_BPBo7I/AAAAAAAAAGI/xeTuOMvxT1w/s320/Altadena+June+13+006.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5215095783879189426" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />(Dang, where are the Junior High School Girl fun fonts when you need them, Blogger?)<br /><br />Anyway, nice round, HT! Mercuryboy played gamely, even though there are no true junior tees at Brookside, so he was hitting farther back than he usually does. It'd be like a grown up shooting at a 500 yard par 4. Like Barry Bonds having to hit 800 home runs without the benefit of enough steroids to float a donkey. Like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nelson_Muntz">Nelson Muntz</a> having to pass a test without previously whaling on a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Prince">nerd</a> or stealing the key from the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edna_Krabappel">teacher</a>'s desk to get the answers. (BTW, I am willing to go on record as saying that I still think Edna Krabappel is hot stuff, despite everything that's happened between us. Don't ask.)<br /><br />I had precisely two highlights: first, I birdied a 300 yard par 4. The recipe is this: 280 yard, dead-straight drive, chip shot onto the green, 1 putt. That's the first time any of our little gang has done that on a par 4 or higher. Woo hoo! I also hit my ongoing goal of 2 putts per hole. Small victories, people.<br /><br />Ok, so tomorrow, we'll move on to the subject of The Slowest Golfers In Northwest LA County (and perhaps beyond). No, it wasn't us.Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-38150728158673786162008-06-22T18:34:00.001-07:002008-06-22T18:34:37.557-07:00Brookside-A Day of Firsts<!-- Converted from text/plain format --> <P><FONT SIZE=2>We had a great round at Brookside, with Human Torch going under 100 for the first time. (I've gone 50 for nine holes a couple times, but never on 18.)<BR> <BR> I shot a birdie on a par 4. Another first for our little group.<BR> <BR> Mercuryboy shot very well, but the forward tees were just a few yards ahead of us, so it was a challenge for him. He was the only kid out there.<BR> <BR> Tomorrow I'll tell you about the four slowest golfers in LA. Yep, we played behind 'em. </FONT> </P> Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-9854543733122505182008-06-21T13:34:00.001-07:002008-06-21T13:34:31.253-07:00105 in Pasadena! That's golf weather...<!-- Converted from text/plain format --> <P><FONT SIZE=2>Actually Mercuryboy and I are playing at Brookside (in the spectacular Rose Bowl) tomorrow. I'll grab some pictures at least.<BR> <BR> Today, the swimming pool. </FONT> </P> Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-88919175495030206822008-06-20T08:32:00.000-07:002008-06-20T08:42:18.628-07:00Reality Intrudes. How Rude of ItI'm not going to get much writing time today because, you know, running a <a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.goldstar.com">company</a> and all that...<br /><br />On the plus side, we're working on some very, very exciting things that our members will love, so if you haven't already signed up, what the heck are you waiting for?<br /><br />Human Torch and I did play 9 last night and, despite a 5-putt debacle on one hole (pin was set high at the back of a very large green, and I failed, putt-putt style, to get the ball up the hill three times before then two putting. Let us never speak of it again.), I did better than in recent days. In fact, on the other eight holes, I averaged a two-putt, with 2 one-putts, 4 two-putts, and two three-putts. Lost a lot of strokes on chipping and pitching within about 30 yards of the green, so that's an issue for me. An issue for me like Jeremiah Wright is for Obama; like being 90 is for John McCain.<br /><br />Geez, am I talking about the election? I suppose you can't fault me, now that we're actually in the same calendar year as the actual election is happening and we actually know who's in it. I feel like we should have been able to elect 3 or 4 presidents in the time it's taken. Didn't this used to be shorter? Ah for the innocent days of...every election ever before this one.<br /><br />Before I go, here's a gratuitous picture of Mercuryboy, super close up:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SFvPdNm3LxI/AAAAAAAAAFw/yJTM-gvOzgI/s1600-h/Scholl+Canyon+015.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SFvPdNm3LxI/AAAAAAAAAFw/yJTM-gvOzgI/s200/Scholl+Canyon+015.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5213989094387298066" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Also, don't forget to vote in that poll! So far, no one has voted for 'winner gets cake at the end,' which surprised me. Maybe the winner has to share the cake with everyone. Does that change the appeal?Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-36639477635816561242008-06-19T08:28:00.000-07:002008-06-19T08:56:09.727-07:00Poll: 'Chili' Readers Feeling Pain at the PumpLooking back, we didn't ask about gas prices. Human Torch does have this little wire sticking out of the driver's seat of his car, which pokes him before he gets out at the gas station, so technically, at least he's feeling pain at the pump.<br /><br />But on to the real result of the poll...<br /><br />The question was, um, actually not a question:<br /><br />"Here's how I feel about golf..."<br /><br />33% of respondents chose "Kill me now" as their response. Hopefully, none of them have been killed. If so, I'm sorry I unleashed this evil curse on the world. Like a low-budget "<a href="http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x132/kippynips/ring_1_copy0.jpg">The Ring</a>" (via <a href="www.coolchaser.com/themes/keywords/the+ring+movie">Coolchaser</a>) or something. Anyway, my condolences to the families and I accept no responsibility. I can't control my awesome powers.<br /><br />14% of you said, "That's the One with the Little White Balls, Right?" (Insert Butthead Quote here.) This answer really shows a combination of ignorance and apathy. (ME -<span style="font-style: italic;">Q: What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?</span> People Who Chose This Answer-<span style="font-style: italic;">A: I don't know, and I don't care.</span>)<br /><br />Fine, be that way.<br /><br />22% of you chose the answer "I'm Try-Curious." Now, first I'm going to assume you're talking about golf. (If not, maybe I should start another entirely different kind of blog...) If in fact you meant golf, come join me for a round one of these days, and it's on me. <br /><br />18% of you said "I'm a playa, baby." And since I'm assuming all my readers are hip enough to know that "playa" means "player" and not "a dry lakebed," then I'm assuming there's no confusion. If, however, I've offended any geographical features who happen to read this blog, please accept my apologies, right behind all those people I accidentally killed with a curse because they said "Kill me now."<br /><br />Finally, 11% of you said "I'm wasting time not golfing right now." I love the enthusiasm, but really, a little more balance in life wouldn't hurt.<br /><br />Ok, so all together, that puts 52% of you in the 'basically pro golf' category and 48% of you in the 'basically anti-golf' category. Since part of my goal here is to encourage more golfing, I'm creating a new poll that launches today to find out what it would take to encourage you to golf more.<br /><br />And I'm looking for a contest idea if you've got one!Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-72796879051758550372008-06-18T08:29:00.000-07:002008-06-18T09:10:41.407-07:00And He Hits Dirt...From the other day, here's a clip of Mercuryboy giving color commentary on Human Torch's swing.<br /><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/RCLCQMvR6xY"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/RCLCQMvR6xY" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />At least at this stage in history, kids don't immediately and instinctively go into Howard Cosell-mode when they do pretend sports commentating. When I was Mercuryboy's age, by default, you'd imitate Cosell, without even really knowing why. Were you mocking him? Were you paying tribute to him because he was the standard? Was he using mind control to force you to talk like him, or worse yet, was he perhaps speaking through you, like a puppet. A big meaty puppet.<br /><br />Thank God the young generation has broken this vicious cycle of oppression...<br /><br />(BTW, CELTIC PRIDE! Which I will express with this slightly racist cartoon figure. I mean, all that little Irishman needs is a whiskey bottle in his hand instead of a basketball and he'd qualify for the Stereotypes Hall of Fame.)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SFkzM0F2H-I/AAAAAAAAAFo/8RP0W5V6PP4/s1600-h/Boston_Celtics.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 71px; height: 80px;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SFkzM0F2H-I/AAAAAAAAAFo/8RP0W5V6PP4/s200/Boston_Celtics.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5213254338892668898" border="0" /></a>Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-17891792906852273642008-06-17T08:37:00.001-07:002008-06-17T09:06:07.875-07:00The Battle at the BellagioForget about Tiger and Rocco at the Open on Monday ("<span style="font-style: italic;">Tiger and Who at the what now?</span>"-Most of You and fair enough).<br /><br />The battle of the weekend happened last Friday night on the 9th and final hole.<br /><br />In order to better document the dramatic finish (and because I had lost already), I didn't finish the hole, but instead pulled out the video camera.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SFfd5jcwTJI/AAAAAAAAAFg/sPV5QOmJaEU/s1600-h/Bellagio+Snapshot.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 360px; height: 268px;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SFfd5jcwTJI/AAAAAAAAAFg/sPV5QOmJaEU/s200/Bellagio+Snapshot.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5212879074542767250" border="0" /></a>The situation was this. Mercuryboy had a one-stroke lead going into the last hole, but Human Torch got off the tee very, very strong. It's a long par 4 (about 440 yards, but about 350 for Mercuryboy), so a few strokes later, Mercuryboy was at the edge of the green laying 6, with Human Torch on the green with just 5 strokes.<br /><br />That's dramatic enough, since anyone could win. Except me. But I already said that.<br /><br />But then, all watery hell broke loose. (Watery hell?) It was late in the day, but the sprinkler system obviously got out of sequence, and the ninth hole came to life with more prancing fluids than you'll find this side of <a href="http://everything2.com/e2node/Prancing%2520Fluids">David Letterman avoiding a lawsuit</a>.<br /><br />I was going to edit this <a href="http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2916096195456106805&q=cloverfield&ei=fN5XSNmfK4SIqgPo7OXhDg"><span style="font-style: italic;">Cloverfield</span></a>-like video, but I decided to preserve the documentary integrity of the moment, and also I need to get started on work. One big difference between this and Cloverfield, though, is as Human Torch says at the end, we survive. Oh, dear, should I have said Spoiler Alert? Yeah, like you care.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/QL6EZYZVS2U&hl=en"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/QL6EZYZVS2U&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Enjoy.Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-2612665696669457482008-06-16T09:47:00.001-07:002008-06-16T09:47:36.230-07:00A thought about tomorrowland...<!-- Converted from text/plain format --> <P><FONT SIZE=2>When they designed tomorrowland back in the 60s, they pictured the future being very pointy...</FONT> </P> Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-67698211857000920602008-06-16T09:01:00.001-07:002008-06-16T09:01:11.212-07:00No blown chip shots in two days...<!-- Converted from text/plain format --> <P><FONT SIZE=2>Because, like I said, no golf at Disney...<BR> <BR> They should make a golf-themed ride. <BR> Some suggestions:<BR> <BR> The Haunted Driver<BR> <BR> Bogey Mountain<BR> <BR> Indiana Jones and the Wedge of Mediocrity<BR> <BR> Pirates of the Water Hazard<BR> <BR> And finally,<BR> <BR> Mulligan Mansion.<BR> <BR> Your suggestions welcome. </FONT> </P> Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-69960496172686611672008-06-15T07:00:00.001-07:002008-06-15T07:00:32.031-07:00What? There's no golf course at disneyland?<!-- Converted from text/plain format --> <P><FONT SIZE=2>Hmm. How did I get suckered into this?<BR> <BR> I'll be at D-Land today and tomorrow, and I'm hoping that there's a secret, tucked away corner of the park called Linkland or Greenland or maybe just golfland...<BR> <BR> I'll let you know. </FONT> </P> Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-5771743282961946592008-06-14T14:58:00.001-07:002008-06-14T14:58:18.924-07:00No video yet<!-- Converted from text/plain format --> <P><FONT SIZE=2>Just no chance to download, edit and devise wisecracks yet.<BR> <BR> Trust me though. The Battle at the Bellagio will be worth the wait...</FONT> </P> Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-72716045903733427052008-06-13T21:54:00.000-07:002008-06-13T21:57:15.871-07:00A Flood of Video On Its Way...Tonight, Human Torch, Mercuryboy and I played a quick nine holes, but we brought along an official photographer, who took pictures and tons and tons of video.<br /><br />I haven't downloaded any of it, but it should be hilarious.<br /><br />I will tell you that you won't want to miss the final green dramatics, where Human Torch and Mercuryboy decided the game on what I call the Showdown at the Bellagio Hole...Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-47129851974867861992008-06-12T21:54:00.000-07:002008-06-12T22:49:08.279-07:00Attack of the ClonesI think we'd all agree that Yoda is pretty high on the Universal Coolometer. It's true that he has the same voice as <a href="http://www.geocities.com/EnchantedForest/Palace/3382/sounds/gwise.wav">Grover</a>, but the Fuzzy Blue One's killing powers didn't include stuff like this:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/IRd9PGmAQUE&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/IRd9PGmAQUE&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />(On the other hand, who knows what <a href="http://muppet.wikia.com/wiki/Super_Grover">SuperGrover</a> was capable of?)<br /><br />So the fight scene above is from the movie, <span style="font-style: italic;">Star Wars 2: Attack of the Clones, </span>which was known in some markets as <span style="font-style: italic;">Star Wars 2: 52% Fewer Muppets than Star Wars 1. <br /><br /></span>So on that very thin connection, I want to ask for some advice on a thing that I'm thinking about now. <span style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span><br />Clone Clubs. <br /><br />I know we've talked a lot about clubs this week. We'll move on once I actually go and play some more golf, which will be after work on Friday. (I'm thinking of going to the Forum and buying a sacrifice weasel.)<br /><br />Ok, so clone clubs are copies of more expensive clubs, without the brand name. For example, Pinemeadow Golf has this <a href="http://www.pinemeadowgolf.com/golf-clubs/irons/command.bk">set of clubs</a>, which they suggest you compare to<a href="http://www.basspro.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Product_10151_-1_10001_97565?cm_mmc=froogle-_-700-16-4-_--1-_-38-612-235-78&hvarAID=46KY&mr:trackingCode=C1905512-A838-DD11-98CA-001422107090&mr:referralID=NA"> this set</a>, from Taylormade.<span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span></span><br /><br />I suppose they could have suggested I compare it to a room full of trunks full of cartoon gold coins and jewels, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scrooge_McDuck">Uncle $crooge McDuck</a>-style. I would have rejected that suggestion.<br /><br />But the suggestion that these clubs might be basically the same as a set that are hundreds and hundreds of dollars more expensive and that the only reason everyone's not buying from them is that everyone's either too superficial or lazy to know better, that's a suggestion I am susceptible to. (Not that I think people are generally superficial and lazy, but I'm trying to justify something without a rational basis for it, so I'm being generous.)<br /><br />This is <span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;">not </span></span>like those Chinese counterfeiters that try to sell you <a href="http://gawker.com/news/fashion-disasters/monster-fashion-knockoff-smuggling-ring-busted-330700.php">Birkin Sticks</a>. Pinemeadow and their ilk and not trying to pretend to be Taylormade. They're just saying they can use the same technology and make clubs that are just as good, without all the overhead of the big companies. Things like TV commercials, elaborate displays at golf shops, and the exorbitant protection money anybody in the golf equipment racquet has to pay to Nick "Nicky Nails" Faldo. (That's a little fact the Golf Institute people don't want you to know about him.)<br /><br />Thoughts? Could these clubs be comparable in quality or is it just wishful thinking? Even if they turn out to be good, would it just be the placebo effect of thinking they're good? <br /><br />I await your thoughts.<br /><br />And you can await real-time postings, results and film from the course tomorrow night!Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-23050646533081330792008-06-12T13:15:00.000-07:002008-06-13T16:23:16.631-07:00I want my JimTVOr maybe you don't...anyway, here's what aired on CBS Affiliate WUSA in Washington DC last night. I'm the guy squinting at the camera in the first segment:<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/t6vevAWlyDc&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/t6vevAWlyDc&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />UPDATE: If you can't see the video, you can see it <a href="http://www.wusa9.com/video/default.aspx?aid=61840&storyid=72700&GID=JFl9j6um2H04bTJoZBHxaTCYPX7PnNIf/R+aZ9L6SVI%3D">here</a>.<br /><br /><br />Hey, while you're thinking about it, if you haven't signed up, you should definitely go to Goldstar.com. You'll be supporting my golf habit too, so not only is it a good idea, it's for a good cause.Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-65462208032292489372008-06-11T22:12:00.000-07:002008-06-11T23:45:41.220-07:00Jen Wins! And Gets a Tour of the Island of Misfit ToysJust a couple short hours after the <a href="http://golfisthenewchilis.blogspot.com/2008/06/island-of-misfit-toys.html">contest was launched</a>, Jen came through with the name of one of the Misfit Toys from "Rudolph."<br /><br />Charlie in the Box. This guy:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SFCyMHfu0hI/AAAAAAAAAFY/amWZ5qBz7l4/s1600-h/charlieinthebox.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SFCyMHfu0hI/AAAAAAAAAFY/amWZ5qBz7l4/s200/charlieinthebox.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5210860690107978258" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />(By the way, if you want a Time Zero for the beginning of the movement to permit gay marriage, it's 1964, the first year "Rudolph" was broadcast and Charlie made his debut. )<br /><br />Other acceptable answers would have been King Moonracer, Cowboy Riding Ostrich, Birdfish, Train With Square Wheels, Doll With No Discernible Defect Yet Is Somehow Inexplicably On The Island, and of course, any member of Hanson.<br /><br />Anyway, Jen wins the contest, and since she's hundreds of miles away, she (and you too, I guess) get a video tour of the Island so she can pick out her prize club:<br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzlT1C9ewFh0HEgVn8XqfoO3e4k6BHsSieXamhURR3zhZkxtO3P1OrpO_-OzD25XbNfW0et1ri5LNfzvDCvvw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br /><br />So, Jen, get a look at your many (ok, several) wonderful (ok, decent) options, and let me know what you want. Plus, there will be a pastry. Any preference? <br /><br />If you have suggestions for Jen, leave them in the comments.<br /><br />BTW, just a few days left to participate in the extraordinarily unexciting poll. That's not something you want to miss!Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-49443248358329923292008-06-11T08:42:00.000-07:002008-06-11T09:04:22.654-07:00Island of Misfit ToysHuman Torch, Mercuryboy and I are all pretty avid golfers. And we're all pretty new to the game. This leads to a couple things: plenty of mediocre golfing (as you've heard) and a lot of club buying.<br /><br />In Roman and Greek times, they made sacrifices to the gods for all kinds of things: good weather on a journey; good favor in the new franchise of 3-Day Toga Broker they were planning to open up; or just another day of good health, hard work, healthy food, and a hearty barf session to top it all off. It looked something like this:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SE_00nLB3mI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/yZ6lH4o4h30/s1600-h/GreekSacrifice.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SE_00nLB3mI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/yZ6lH4o4h30/s200/GreekSacrifice.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5210652478596570722" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Now, the Romans in particular got wise and made a pretty good business out of this. If you stood outside the Fabulous Forum in ancient Rome (later renamed the Great Western Empire Forum), sacrifice bait could be bought from hundreds of chicken, pigeon, pig and weasel vendors. It was like a farmer's market, but way, way bloodier.<br /><br />Anyway, if they had had golf, surely there would have been an entire section of the market devoted to golf sacrifices. What would you have to kill for par on a single hole? A cricket? Or would you need to go up to mouse for that? Sadly, that knowledge is lost in the mists of time.<br /><br />For us, though we don't kill animals (except that time with <a href="http://golfisthenewchilis.blogspot.com/2008/05/human-torch-just-killed-squirrel.html">HT and the squirrel</a>), the sacrifice is money. Buying new clubs, in hopes of replacing old ones and getting favor from the golf gods, is about as useful as taking a pile of money and burning it outside the Forum, or even the Staples Center.<br /><br />So there's a lot of club buying, which means a lot of club dumping. Where do these abandoned clubs go?<br /><br />To the Island of Misfit Toys.<br /><br />This is the forlorn collection of clubs that the three of us have "retired." <br /><br />Which leads me to today's contest.<br /><br />The first person (other than Human Torch) who can name one of the misfit toys from "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" gets his or her pick of any club (some of them are pretty good) from the Island of Misfit Toys. Plus a pastry to be named later.<br /><br />If you're not local, I'll send you a picture, and you can pick one that I'll ship to you.<br /><br />Seriously.Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-46980517482410143982008-06-10T08:13:00.000-07:002008-06-10T08:43:02.965-07:00Day of 100 ChipsHere's something that I've learned about golf. Write this down (or ctrl-c it, then ctrl-v, then print. either way.)<br /><br />You'll do pretty well if you just hit the ball straight and reasonably far every time.<br /><br />You're not going to win any money this way, but you'll impress the retirees hanging out at the golf club all day, watching people post their scores. They won't say anything, but at least they won't look at you like you're a scummy long hair who probably wants to give the country to the commies. Actually, they probably wouldn't say that to you anyway, except that one guy. He looks mean.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SE6dnXvw96I/AAAAAAAAAFI/9meaLAsSD94/s1600-h/Altadena+May+30+027.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SE6dnXvw96I/AAAAAAAAAFI/9meaLAsSD94/s320/Altadena+May+30+027.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5210275118629058466" border="0" /></a><br />Anyway, hitting the ball straight and farther than a little girl can kick a kickball is harder than you think. There are probably 400 ways to mess up a golf shot: hooking it into the fairway on the right of you; slicing it onto the green of the hole to the left of you; grazing the ball with the top of your club only, sending it flying feebly ahead with the direction and speed of Britney Spears' career; digging a hole so large you should have called the electric company before you did it to make sure you weren't interfering with powerlines, and many, many others.<br /><br />Here, for example, Human Torch and Yak Herder are very likely watching me execute Variant 268: The Cartoon. <br /><br />This happens when you're at the foot of a green. For those of you less familiar with the game, the green is where the hole is, and usually it's on a raised grassy hill. If you're at the foot of the green, you have to hit it far enough and soft enough that it lands on the green, so you can putt it in.<br /><br />Here's how it's supposed to look:<br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/DaSQ20nH6VU&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DaSQ20nH6VU&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />If you don't do it that way, you end up looking like a cartoon character, probably <b><a href="http://www.tvacres.com/cats_cartoon_scratchy.htm" target="_top">Scratchy</a></b>, hitting the ball clear over the green, running across, hitting it back to the other side of the green, again and again until you turn into butter. Or a mouse replaces the golf ball with an old-timey bomb, like <a href="www.flickr.com/photos/34846546@N00/1141416632/">this</a>. Either way, it's an area in need of improvement if you're doing it.<br /><br />Being an analytical golder, I identified this issue and developed the Day of 100 Chips. I did it for the first time yesterday in the practice area at Altadena golf course. It seemed to help.<br /><br />If I don't turn into butter or get blown up after my next round, I'll give you a report!Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-75356282031116023002008-06-09T08:37:00.000-07:002008-06-09T09:09:20.860-07:00First There is a Mountain, Then There is No Mountain...Then I throw a clubOk, ok, I really have to keep my head about my progress at golf at this point because if I don't, I'm going to do something drastic like linking to an old Donovan song...<br /><br />Seriously, these days I feel like that old hippie song is ruling my golf life:<br /><br />"First, there is a mountain,<br />Then there is no mountain,<br />Then there is..."<br /><br />Ok, listen for <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37EyJRi63Yk">yourself</a>.<br /><br />And why not get a load of Donovan while you're at it?<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SE1PvMEUIjI/AAAAAAAAAEw/cgopmlyyTuE/s1600-h/Donovan%252B-%252BSunshine%252BSuperman.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SE1PvMEUIjI/AAAAAAAAAEw/cgopmlyyTuE/s320/Donovan%252B-%252BSunshine%252BSuperman.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5209908016049300018" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Sunshine Superman. That's not an album title Young Jeezy's likely to use anytime soon. Some things age well, and other things, well, they just age.<br /><br />(On the other hand, John Cusack <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_J-lxK8uCY">held up the radio and played</a> "In Your Eyes" for Donovan's daughter, Ione Skye, in 'Say Anything.')<br /><br />Anyway, what does Sunshine Superman have to do with anything?<br /><br />We already discussed the stages of golf greatness, and after struggling with complete and total incompetence, I made some progress, even going so far as to make it to Golf School, as some of you probably recall.<br /><br />And that's when it all went wrong. Since Golf School, I've probably gotten 10 to 12 strokes worse.<br /><br />So first there was a mountain (improvement and the possibility of actually not being a terrible golfer), then there is no mountain (experience, practice and golf school makes you almost as bad as when I started), but I haven't yet reached the 'then there is' stage.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SE1SpSPbqBI/AAAAAAAAAFA/-8aKjdBa5Zk/s1600-h/Scholl+Canyon+006.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SE1SpSPbqBI/AAAAAAAAAFA/-8aKjdBa5Zk/s320/Scholl+Canyon+006.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5209911213162211346" border="0" /></a>This mostly gratuitous pictures shows a happier, more innocent time...a time before being The Deceiver (Nick Faldo) lured me into his evil web of sound golf advice.<br /><br />Back in the mists of those ancient times of a month or so ago, I regularly threatened 100 (for 18 holes, though to be honest not on the trip in question, which was <a href="http://golfisthenewchilis.blogspot.com/2008/05/scholl-canyon-wrap-up-what-canyon.html">terrible</a>.) More typically, I'd shoot about 105 (or 52 or so on 9 holes).<br /><br />Now, I'm right down at about 115, which isn't good. For all the non-golfing women who read my blog, it's like going from being Carrie to being Miranda. Ok, it's like going from being Charlotte to being Miranda. Seriously, it's like going from being Miranda to being that Polish nanny of hers.<br /><br />I'm hanging on optimistically because of two things: everything I've ever learned seems to go like this. I remember when I was learning Japanese (in Japan, mostly in bars), I would go from feeling like I could handle tea with the Emperor or maybe even go on a game show where they made me sit naked in a bathtub of ice to win a giant stuffed bear one day to complete blithering idiot-hood the next. After a period of blithering, I would emerge realizing that when I thought I was being smooth and fluent before, I was actually making a jackass of myself and telling people to '<a href="http://www.snopes.com/cokelore/tadpole.asp">bite the wax tadpole</a>' when I had meant to say they looked fetching in that Hello, Kitty sweater and could I buy them dinner sometime. It's a wonder that ever worked.<br /><br />The second reason for optimism is that I've noticed something...more and more of my shots are going where I meant them to. Imagine that. I was about 35 yards behind the 7th green on Altadena yesterday with a 50 foot tree blocking my path. I got out my <a href="http://www.clevelandgolf.com/wedges.html">Cleveland wedge</a> and envisioned a shot popping up into the air, clearing the tree and dropping cleanly onto the green. It was a very, very strange sensation when in fact it happened almost exactly as I had imagined it.<br /><br />Maybe there's something to this "<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ari/2238959127/">Hope</a>" thing after all.<br /><a href="http://www.clevelandgolf.com/wedges.html"></a>Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-43290529456998132522008-06-05T16:51:00.001-07:002008-06-05T17:22:51.130-07:00The Five Stages to Golf GreatnessI have to admit that I'm starting to get concerned about my upcoming World Championship of One-on-One Golf that pits me against the big dog, <a href="http://www.wisconsinwx.com/TigerWoods.jpg">Tiger Woods</a>. I'm no longer confident that I will win.<br /><br />Do you remember the plot of the original <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075148/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Rocky</span></a>? The basic idea was that <a href="http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=apollo%20creed&ie=UTF-8&oe=utf-8&rls=com.google:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&sa=N&tab=wv#">Apollo Creed</a>, World Heavyweight Champion and all-American badass, was so good that he couldn't find anybody worth fighting, except one guy who was out of town or something. Anyway, the problem was that he still wanted to make a whole bunch of money by winning a fight against some loser. Hmmm. That is a pickle.<br /><br />So despite his room full of advisers telling him that there was simply no way he could make a whole bunch of money under these particular circumstances, he stood his ground. He believed in America (you could tell by his boxing shorts), and in himself, and his ability to manufacture a hyped-up media event that people would pay for purely because of his track record and would inevitably be disappointed by once they saw it. Kinda like all the <span style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://www.metacritic.com/film/titles/piratesofthecaribbeandeadmanschest">Pirates of the Carribean </a></span>sequels or the <a href="http://jezebel.com/342891/why-i-am-not-the-biggest-fan-of-hillary-clinton">Hillary Clinton candidacy</a>. (On the other hand, Bill and Hill look pretty cool in that picture. Not Wilson Pickett cool, but still.)<br /><br />Anyway, Apollo Creed comes up with the idea of giving some local Philadelphia boy a chance at the title on July 4, 1976 (the <a href="http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1302173">Bicentennial</a>, which was cool, for those of you not old enough to have been there.) In other words, get some good looking doofus who didn't stand a chance and make everybody want to see if he could somehow magically beat the champ.<br /><br />I'm pretty sure that's what Tiger's got in mind. I'm the good-looking palooka with no chance. Or so he thinks.<br /><br />And maybe he's right. As I understand it, there are five steps to golf greatness, and I just have to work through them in time for our match. Here's a short summary of them.<br /><br />Step 1: <span style="font-weight: bold;">Shame and Disarray</span>. When you first start golfing, it's an unholy sight that no person should have to see. Like those <span style="font-style: italic;">Pirates</span> sequels I mentioned before. Every time you pick up a club to take a swing, your ancestors lose face in the afterlife, if you believe in that kind of thing. Holes are dug; balls are chased; boundaries are violated, and if you're not lucky, property is damaged and local obscenity ordinances are violated. Estimated time: six months.<br /><br />Step 2: <span style="font-weight: bold;">Disgust and Disappointment. </span>The problem with this phase is that you're better<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SEiBwHNgjRI/AAAAAAAAAEI/j3xz573WZT8/s1600-h/346168078_e773db131f.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SEiBwHNgjRI/AAAAAAAAAEI/j3xz573WZT8/s320/346168078_e773db131f.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5208555632623389970" border="0" /></a> enough to expect a little more, but not better enough to do it with anywhere near the consistency that enables you to look like you're participating in an athletic activity instead of an Easter Egg Hunt. Even <a href="http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/golf/article335832.ece">Nick Faldo</a> only mocks you with his golfing skills and suave good looks. (That makes me think of this <a href="http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/53548/detail/">Simpson's moment</a>. You can thank me later for introducing the phrase "Stupid Sexy Flanders!" into your vocabulary.) Estimated time: hmmm...not sure. Haven't left it yet.<br /><br />As a matter of fact, I seem to be short of info on the rest of the other steps, too. Wait, let me rifle through my notes...<br /><br />Oh, here's something...let's see.<br /><br />Ok, here we go.<br /><br />Step 5: <span style="font-weight: bold;">Be Tiger Woods</span>.<br /><br />Dang.<br /><br />(If you know what the other steps are, comment them, and I'll be sure and write about them. Also, I'll put out a new contest tomorrow.)Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-8912235928454014692008-06-05T09:08:00.000-07:002008-06-05T09:20:56.099-07:00Altadena Wrap UpOnce again, Human Torch and I played Altadena last night. (I know, I know, we play there a lot.)<br /><br />Although I "won" by one stroke, we both played with the skill of a surgeon wearing mittens. A bad surgeon. Perhaps <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Nick_Riviera">a graduate of Hollywood Upstairs Medical College</a>.<br /><br />I'll have more to say about how Golf School seems to have made us worse later in the day. Til then, you should get outside and play. Fresh air is good for you.Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5536123343627418528.post-37544266193550425162008-06-04T08:31:00.000-07:002008-06-04T09:23:21.044-07:00The Day of 100 PuttsIt sounds like either the title of a melodramatic old-time science fiction movie (e.g., <span style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfpSXI8_UpY">The Day the Earth Stood Still</a>, <a href="http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5534209725612326856&q=triffids">The Day of the Triffids</a> ) </span>or possibly a follow-up to Wilson Pickett's still-supercool-40-years-later <span style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdi1_Es85fA">Land of 1000 Dances</a>,</span> but it is neither of those things. (By the way,while I'm thinking about it, regular people can only wish they were ever as cool as Wilson Pickett on their best day here in 2008...by 2048, forget it. You'll be lucky to be as cool as <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8dx0oE--VI&feature=related">this guy</a>.)<br /><br />Anyway, The Day of 100 Putts is my new putting practice routine. Simply put, my whole concept is that I will hit 100 putts every day. How can I do such a thing? Allow this picture that I am about to take to explain it:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SEa5bcoqw8I/AAAAAAAAADo/OqMBJavPab8/s1600-h/Day+of+100+Putts.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SEa5bcoqw8I/AAAAAAAAADo/OqMBJavPab8/s320/Day+of+100+Putts.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5208053900294931394" border="0" /></a>With this humble collection of putter, balls, and practice cup, I have a plan to become the greatest putter in the world. Or at least in this part of the <a href="http://www.goldstar.com/">Goldstar</a> office.<br /><br />Mike Ellis, of Shadow Ridge and Faldo Golf Institute fame, pointed out that 43% of golf shots are putts, yet most people avoid practicing putts like they avoid Baked Potato Chips when Double-Dipped-in-Grease Chips are available. The way they avoid ordering fruit when fries are available. The way they avoid paying down the balance on their credit cards when a low minimum interest-only option is available.<br /><br />You get the idea. They don't do it.<br /><br />The problem though is that I don't exactly have a lot of time in my work day. In fact, if I don't wrap this post up in a couple minutes, I'm going to have to let it drop mid-sentence. You wouldn't have closure and that would probably ruin your day.<br /><br />So you can see the problem.<br /><br />The solution of course is to integrate it all into my work day. As CEO of Goldstar, a big part of my duties involve me staring thoughtfully at the ceiling and devising ways to make our customers happy and make anyone who dares to oppose us unhappy. Frequently, that process looks like this:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SEbAl5LlZ0I/AAAAAAAAADw/8HZT4brm7lk/s1600-h/Day+of+100+Putts+001.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SEbAl5LlZ0I/AAAAAAAAADw/8HZT4brm7lk/s320/Day+of+100+Putts+001.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5208061776337659714" border="0" /></a><br /><br />So since I want to beat Tiger in that upcoming one-on-one world championship match and since <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,313563,00.html">everything Fox News ever says is </a><a href="http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,313563,00.html">true</a>, I came up with a plan: putting and thinking.<br /><br />Since it's not exactly hard on the noodle to hit a ball across a carpet, I have changed from Thinking While Slumping to Thinking While Putting (both are illegal in Mississippi, but hey.)<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />That process looks more like this:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SEbBIfbJkZI/AAAAAAAAAEA/iT8vcAPqdbw/s1600-h/Day+of+100+Putts+002.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_STFzvzfEy1M/SEbBIfbJkZI/AAAAAAAAAEA/iT8vcAPqdbw/s320/Day+of+100+Putts+002.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5208062370719043986" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />(BTW, no critique on my form. Clearly, I'm posing for a staged picture.)<br /><br />10 balls at a go. 10 times a day. In 27.4 short years, that's a million putts, which puts us right up to 2035.<br /><br />I bet Wilson Pickett, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wilson_Pickett">God rest him</a>, never did that!Jim McCarthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11635943457040005498noreply@blogger.com1